Ten Rules
by kdzl
Summary: Hotch makes a little visit to Will and lays down the law. JJ/Hotch. Oneshot. Post Mayhem


**_An-- This is post Mayhem, or basically whenever Hotch was in good enough condition to take a little flight. Again, this was just an annoying little idea that I had to write down, so enjoy!_**

**_I know what you must be thinking, I have put out a one-shot every day this week. But this is the last one for a little while. I have some more in the works, but it could be anywhere from a week to a month until I post any novel material. So enjoy it while you can. For now, I plan on going back to nurturing and writing my multichapter stories._**

**_No, I don't own Criminal Minds._**

* * *

"I'm coming." Will called as someone knocked furiously on the front door of his apartment. As he opened the door, he saw the last person he would have ever suspected to show up at his home. "Hotch?" He said unsurely, instantly worrying that only the trusted members of the BAU were allowed to use the nickname. Aaron Hotchner was the last human on earth that Will wanted to mess with.

"We need to talk." Hotch commanded, letting himself in. His ears were still ringing from the explosion, but had more important matters to attend to. While Kate's death had brought mayhem to his life, it also brought infinite clarity.

Will timidly ushered Hotch to his couch, wondering what on earth this was all about. Agent Hotchner had paid no attention to Will both times Will had met him, and so this sudden form of contact was confusing. "What can I do for you?" He said finally, his heart racing with fear.

"We need to talk." Hotch said firmly.

"About what?" Will cringed as a child waiting for punishment. He was ninety percent sure that he had never been so afraid in his life.

"About JJ." Hotch whispered, his gut aching in agony. When her admission came, that she was pregnant with Will's child, Hotch had been more affected than he would have ever dreamed. The only words he had been able to speak to her since other than _"JJ, you could have told me." _were entirely work related. If he couldn't have JJ, that was fine. JJ deserved better than him, he was sure of it. But he had to make sure that whoever ended up with JJ treated her right.

"What about her?" Will asked solemnly, not knowing how to broach the topic of his and JJ's relationship with her boss. If JJ knew about this, he was sure she would be dying.

"You hurt her and I will murder you." Hotch threatened grimly.

"Alright." Will said unsurely, doubting that Hotch would have any discomfort strangling him. "I wouldn't dream of--"

"I don't care whether you dream of it or not. You make JJ cry and you will have me to deal with." Hotch said abruptly.

"I wouldn't--" Will began but was cut off by the agressive unit chief.

"Will, I have ten rules for you. You break any one of them, and I will break your kneecaps." Hotch informed firmly, not allowing his eyes to leave Will's. For Will's part, he was sure he had never been so intimidated in his life.

"Rules?" Will said, slightly quivering in fear. Not even his talk with JJ's father had been this bad.

"Yes, rules." Hotch said, making a vow within himself. "I will not stand idlly by and watch you hurt one of the most important people in my world."

"One of the most important people in your world?" Will stammered in repetition, hoping that he wasn't actually going to have to compete with Aaron Hotchner for JJ's affections. He loved JJ, but he wasn't sure if given the choice between the two men, she would choose him.

"JJ is my friend, but she is also a crucial member of my team and I won't have our productivity sacrificed by any of your flippant desires. Do I make myself clear?" Hotch said, trying to contain himself. He knew he shouldn't hold Will in the contempt that he did, but he couldn't help it. Will was just one person that Hotch wanted to take down--badly. But as long as he had JJ's favor, he would remain alive.

"Alright." The younger man grumbled. "What are these rules that I have to abide by?" He didn't have to try hard to keep the acid out of his voice, his thick southern accent covered the visible disdain.

"One--You don't call her Jennifer. Ever. I don't care if it slips." Hotch said, knowing that this first rule was for Will's benefit to protect him from incurring JJ's wrath. "The only human I have ever heard her say could call her Jennifer was a sexual sadist who murdered 18 teenage girls."

"Is Jenny alright?" Will asked deftly.

Hotch shrugged, unsure of how to answer it. He was fairly certain that the answer was no, but it was Will's stomach that would get kicked in. "Why don't you try it and tell me how it goes?"

"Huh?" Will said, expecting an actual answer.

"Rule number two, you call JJ any pronouns that could be deemed less than utter diety worship, I will personally rip you apart with my bare hands." Hotch threatened.

"Alright." Will agreed eagerly, knowing that he didn't dare ever call JJ anything derogatory. That would end up being the butt kicking of the year if he tried. And it wouldn't be JJ's over-protective boss who would be doing the kicking.

"Rule three, don't you ever dare to let her think that you think any other woman is attractive. JJ is the most beautiful human being on this planet, and I hear that she feels inferior because you say something that makes her feel like you'd rather be with anyone else, I'll break your knee caps."

"Wow, there is uh...a lot of ripping and breaking involved isn't there?" Will muttered out of intimidation.

"Rule four. When JJ has your kid, you treat him right." Hotch insisted, trying to control his jealousy. "You act like some shiftless father, and so help me..."

"You'll tear me into a million pieces." Will finished for him.

"No, but I'm glad you are starting to get the picture." Hotch said coldly. "I will murder you and then bury you in an alligator refuge and will let them tear your pathetic body into shreds. My tearing you apart doesn't come until rule six."

"Oh goody." Will said sarcastically.

"Rule five, don't you dare try to make her quit the BAU. I can safely tell you that its her home and I can tell you that if you made her choose between you and the BAU, she might not choose you. But if you do, your butt is hers, and that may be worse than anything I could do to you."

"Don't I know it." Will muttered.

"Rule six, if you are going to break her heart, just get along with it. I can't stand to see JJ get played. So if you are going to leave, just leave. Don't prolong it and..."

"Wait just one minute, here we are talking about if I hurt her what you'll do, I think now is a fine time to address the fact that you're in love with my girlfriend." Will said, growing what seemed to be a backbone.

Hotch shrugged, not willing to deny the truth. "She's with you now. I'm too late, but I won't let her get hurt."

"Trust me Hotch." Will said softly. "If you knew how hard JJ was to get in a relationship, you would realize that a smart man would never hurt her. I didn't work that hard to win her over to leave."

"I know that." Hotch said, void of emotion. "But I like to make sure. I don't want to see some low life like you ruin the best thing in this world."

"I thought you had that Kate woman, JJ sure noticed it. Why don't you get along with her, or even better, get on with your wife and leave me and JJ alone?" Will sneered, forgetting himself for a moment. He wasn't normally this cruel, but when Hotch came over, looking for a fight, he wasn't about to shy away from one.

"Rule seven. You hurt JJ by ridiculing Reid or Garcia or anyone member of my team, and your head is mine." Hotch continued, ignoring the smaller man. He knew in his heart of hearts in a death match, he would win. That was enough for now.

"I wouldn't do that to her, you know that."

"Rule eight. You leave her and make her a complete man hater, I will, again, rip you to shreds." Hotch threatened.

"Oh, because heaven forbid I make her immune to your advances." He muttered under his breath.

"Rule nine, you make her cry, I will make you cry. Got it?" Hotch grunted.

"Now here's the grand finale." Will said snidely. "Seriously, what can you threaten to kill me now?"

"Ten, be good to her." Hotch said softly, coming to terms with the fact that he was going to have to let JJ go.

"What no death threat?"

"No. I want your word that you can take care of her." Hotch said protectively. "Man to man."

"You have my word." Will said quietly, allowing himself a hollow victory. He won, he got the girl, but he also had the responsibility.

"Now that we have this in the clear, I'm going to go." Hotch said, slightly defeated.

"Hotch?" Will said after him.

"What?"

"I'll take good care of her." He assured him, knowing that this was what Hotch wanted more than anything.

"Good." Hotch nodded as he turned to walk out of the door.

* * *

_Three Years Later_

"Can I ask you a question?" JJ asked her new husband as she scratched his back as the started to fall asleep. This was one of their first nights in the new house they bought together after their honeymoon and Henry was with his father. It was nice to have a quiet evening to themselves.

"What honey?" Hotch asked absentmindedly, loving how her hand felt on his skin.

"Back when I was pregnant with Henry, what did you say to Will?" JJ questioned quietly.

"What do you mean?" He inquired guiltily, though she was too absorbed to notice.

"For the longest time, it was like he was afraid to break up with me, and I always got the impression you had something to do with it." JJ explained, biting her lip. She knew she was being crazy, but she had the slightest suspicion.

"Oh, I just explained somethings in a way that any man could understand." Hotch said vaguely, not knowing whether JJ was ready for the details quite yet.

Catching on to his grin that lasted a second too long, JJ smiled. "You are such a guy." She swatted him lightly and then curled closer to him.

Hotch laughed to himself. In the end, it wasn't Will who ended up breaking them up, it had been JJ. Maybe his rules had been a bit unnecesarry. But all he knew was that he was grateful that Will had lived by the rules, because it allowed an unscathed JJ to land in his arms. "I love you." He said softly, thankful that he got to say it to her tonight and not Will.

* * *

**_An2--Yes, this is just a little one shot. I just didn't want to see Hotch go down without a fight. Let me know what you are thinking. _**


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